It's funny, the ups and downs of life along with time spent serving yourself and learning to serve others and putting them ahead of ol' number one. Dealing with your own mortality while trying to escape from its reality is daunting. I once thought that the time we spend reconciling our lives was time wasted, but now I'm learning it is a necessary part of it. It's part of the journey we all take. I suppose the reason for this site and it's members is to escape into solitude from time to time. Funny how the escape from the noise of life leads to an introspective path that sometimes we'd rather not take. I served my country from 99-03. I was in South Carolina when the NAACP was marching on the capital to remove the flag and experienced the emotion in peoples eyes. I was stationed in NY during 9/11. I spent time in the Dominican Republic and saw their hatred for Haitians. I've seen the extreme poverty in Jamaica. I was in New Orleans for rebuilding. I was left raising my 2 children by myself, one 3 months old and the other 2 yrs old. I remember looking at them while they slept wondering if I could do it. The world, so full of anger, hatred and selfishness, and then there was me, full of distrust and cynicism. I think that some wounds run much deeper than we realize and we have a tendency to treat the surface and move on rather that cleaning from the inside out. Problem is, the wound doesn't heal properly and leaves a nasty scar. So, to answer your invitation to share what I've learned in my travels...
I was traveling one early morning and I stopped for gas in a small town in the Texas panhandle. I was walking back to my truck from inside the store and I passed a black man with a worn and weathered face. He looked up at me, looked me in the eyes and smiled. I hadn't seen a smile like that ever before. His teeth shined in contrast to his dark skin with a gentleness in his eyes. He directly acknowledged me. He took the time to notice me. To many, it may seem insignificant, but to me, it was immense. He immediately went back to filling his truck and I got in mine and got back on the road. I remember stopping just a bit down the highway and thanking God for caring enough to put that man on my path. That very instant is where I began to heal. I learned that something as simple as that has intrinsic value and the simple things in life must be held on to and built upon.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
-Andy